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优秀英语作文批改：警察持枪的优缺点讨论

2022-11-07 09:05:41 收藏本文下载本文

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优秀英语作文批改：警察持枪的优缺点讨论

篇1：优秀英语作文批改：警察持枪的优缺点讨论

Nowadays, prevention of increasing criminal rates could be a thorny problem. There has been a controversial issue regarding whether police need be armed, one accepted statement is that it leads to the rise of the level of violence. Personally, I disagree with this view.

1. 首先我需要表扬你写得不错，有两个点

1)犯罪成本的上升，罪犯可能因为怕死而不敢犯罪。

2)持枪可能使罪犯误伤街上的老人。

以上两点是你的观点，而且topic sentence写得还可以，只是你没有像我一样将“担心死亡”上升到“犯罪成本的提高”，你只是简单地翻译出来而且用了lose life这样不地道的口语表达，而且第二点用for example 连接不妥，明明在说第二件事情，“比如”什么呢?逻辑不要乱。用in addition 或者secondly更显得用层次感。

2. 开头的it指代不明。

修改后：

Police being armed might be an effective method that deters criminals and hence decrease the criminal rates. First, this increases the possibilities that some offenders give up the criminal minds if crime costs have risen significantly, which implies that potential offenders might consider the possible consequence to be death. In addition, elderly people could be injured accidentally by in the street. Nevertheless, this type of crimes is gradually disappearing because of the deterrent of police carrying guns.

1. 两段写得都是持枪不好的观点，分别是：

1) 刺激罪犯买枪与警察对峙。

2) 警察可能不理智会误伤。

这可以是持枪不好的两个理由，为什么要强分两段呢?第一个主体段是两个观点，第二个主体段就必须也是两个观点(或例子)这就叫“平行段”。

2. alternative就带有另外一种的意思，再用other就重复了。

修改后：

On the other hand, with the increasing number of police with guns, it will increase the level of violence. Because for many criminal groups, being armed is a basic condition against the threat from police, while this action results in crimes to innocent citizens easily. Additionally, some police might abuse their authority subjectively. Police is likely to lose the control of emotions when confronting criminals, this may increase the rate of unnecessary death. Therefore, adopting an alternative way to deter potential criminals (such as anesthetic rifle) may be better for police enforcement.

篇2：英语优秀作文：警察持枪的优缺点讨论

Government ought to be responsible to educate people to avoid obesity, do you agree or disagree?

Leading a healthy lifestyle is essential as it is closely correlated with one’s wellbeing. While nowdays, obesity has become a serious health issue for public. It is suggested that people are unlikely to adopt some approach to avoid obesity unless the government takes actions. Personally, I think educating people to avoid obesity even keep healthy lifestyle should not be gvernments’ responsibility in spite of the considerable implications of governments’ guidance in some respects.

It is reasnable to argue that if people can choose their lifestyle freely, it reflect the governments’ respects and significant awareness for basic human rights. In other words, it should not be established what people ought to eat everyday to avoid obesity and whether need to avoid obesity is freedom for everyone. For example, actually, there are a number of people who think it is still unnecessary to resist obesity despite the fact they have been of obesity seriously already, the consequence is that it may be believed to be a kind of interference if governments start to respond to their lifestyle or diet. After all, for public, it is common knowledge that government ought to pay more attention to developing economy and social progress rather than such petty things, unlike health education, it might generate the resentment against the governments.

Furthermore, there is no denying to say most of people have various difficulties to control and constrain their behaviours on some habits, especially on some certain things which could bring them much happiness, such as smoking, excessive drinking, sexual impulse and drug taking. So although governments take some actions to help people avoid obesity,there will be also many people who will not obey the regulations from the governments at all. Generally ,in comparison with educating public to avoid obesity, it would be better to raise investment on construction of physical infrastructures, improvement of health care system, setting up more courses about health and reduction of price for fresh fruits and vegetables in markets, as implementation of these measures is more close to public life.

Overall, I repeat my view,it is unreasonable to regard educating people to avoid obesity as responsibility of governments, according to the primary role governments play in reality, it should be to provide or improve never to educate or restrict.

篇3：英语：持枪的优缺点讨论作文

In conclusion, although carring guns to some extent deters criminals and prevents the citizens. This will lead to inappropriate guns uses resulting from an excess of guns or even more innocent people who may gey injured when police pursue criminals.

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